Putting Pen to Paper
by Titanic-fanatic
Summary: Even for a Time lord this can prove a difficult task, especially when committing words that you thought you had all the time in the universe to say. Set after Doomsday - Rose and 10th of course! Please Read and Review - i'll love you forever if you do :
1. Chapter 1

**Putting Pen to Paper**

He put pen to paper, sighing deeply. The coarse texture of paper sent sensations through his fingertips every time he touched it. The Doctor paused, his brown eyes staring so absently that they seemed to sear a hole through the leather bound pocket book, he could almost taste the burning on his tongue. He shut it instantly, looking up to the ceiling of the Tardis, his head lolling over the metal bar. Inhaling deeply the Doctor sat up, delving into his breast pocket and produced a quill with a tattered and beaten white plume. White would be what it was initially was but now it was stained with various colour inks and the fragments of feather clad together in parts and missing in others - it was a writer's quill with a sparkling golden nib, meant evidently for only the most precious and cherished of words. The Doctor then brought out a tiny glass vile that glowed a beautiful blue and set it beside him. He crossed his legs and then placed the book on his lap. Quill in hand the Time Lord paused, then pushed the book irately onto the ground before him, some of the pages crinkling and tearing as he then chucked the quill harshly on top with such force it bounced off. He ran his hands savagely through his mane of brown hair, gritting his teeth before lying down on his stomach and snatching the book and quill into his grasp. He agitatedly smoothed over the creased pages, brown eyes darting over the damage with calculation. Suddenly the wounds the article had received from the Doctor's flippant behaviour shone a shimmering gold, blooming with light as the threads of fabric re-wove themselves swiftly. The bent pages appeared to be pulled straight by invisible hands and then relaxed, falling in perfect form on one another. This spectacle took place under the Doctor's tender gaze. He observed tentatively, touching the pages with a soft smile as he flicked over one with his fingers. Then, submerging the tip of the golden nibbed quill into the pot of brilliant blue ink, the Doctor gently and elegantly, let the viscous liquid absorb the cream surface.

Rose Tyler.

He paused, as though confirming that was what he wrote. His eyes began burning again, not with a dark deafening heat but with a solemn silence. The hazel was beginning to drown as the Doctor's eyes welled up and the bottom lip quivered - signifying the inner battle with his emotions, all the pain flooding back from that day, all the anguish and her scream. The scream that haunted his dreams every night since, the nights he managed to sleep that is. The Doctor furrowed his brow, dropping the quill with anger once more so that it rattled on the metal floor of the Tardis. He ran his hands through the brown hair that encompassed his head, this time shakily as though shivering with the anger, attempted to let air get to his mind. He felt his heats thudding irregularly, quickening in pace as his struggling eyes darted around the console. His head was now held to his knees, embracing the book between his lap and chest.

Abruptly he raised his face upwards, clinging to his knees and glancing at the quill he'd discarded. With a resigning sigh he reached over and took it in his grasp and continued writing all the words that were swimming in his head, that had been etched into the dark slate tablets of subconscious thought.

Love can grow, sometimes not letting you know its exists. But it is there, lingering in the smiles and in words that are said. It even lies in those unspoken meeting of eyes and when a hand intertwines with yours. It was always there but we never acknowledge it as the simple gesture of squeezing a hand informs us that 'I will never let you go'. Then one day, in one shining moment, you turn around and there it is, resting on your shoulder, cradling you like a mother cradles her child as though it has been visible all the while.

I have seen things. I've seen things that people dare to dream and things people are afraid to but I can now say in my life I truly feel old as love burns in my soul so brilliant and new it surpasses all the smouldering ruins of emotion that are scattered within me.

Too bad that when I realised that love was there, time had run out. I thought I had all the time in the universe, but evidently not enough to say three words. I love you.

Rose Tyler, I love you.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - The feeling is mutual

Rose Tyler sat in a seemingly inconsolable solitude, staring up to the stars that shone in the midnight sky. They seemed so close now and yet just out of her reach. She'd seen the heavens, touched them and danced around that cosmic dust having the time of her life. The time of her life with all the time in the universe at her fingertips, all in _his _grasp. For one moment in her life she had expected this day to come - the day she was left behind, the day that she would never see him again and even if she did she may not recognise him. Even the thought of it made Rose feel sick to her stomach. She was never going to see him again, never in her entire life would she see the man she loved with every fibre of her being. A fresh tear trickled timorously down one of her burning cheeks, it felt as though the cool salty water was ripping through her flesh as it tumbled down before landing on the back of her hand - scolding her for being so sad and sombre it seemed.

Rose flickered her hazel gaze from above for the first time in hours and looked to her hand, she watched the tear tremble in time with her sobs and then diverted her eyes to the empty space beside her. It was as though he was meant to be there, like an imprint of his essence lingered in places they had never been. Rose pursed her lips in an attempt to stifle her tears threw herself backwards onto her bed, breathing out an irate and water clogged breath. Lying there she reached out to her bedside table, hand scrambling about as her gaze remained fixate on the skylight above. After a few fumbling moments Rose located a small book and a pen, she clutched the book to her chest, eyes lulling closed with each passing breath.

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Six months previous…

"Happy birthday dear Rose, Happy Birthday tooooo youuuu" they sang in unison around the table.

Rose giggled happily, eyes panning the room. Jackie smiled back as did Mickey and then meeting a familiar brown pair, Rose paused before her grin stretched wider in sync with his. The Doctor nodded in return, encouraging her to continue as she pulled her blonde hair back and then extinguished her candles with an exhaling breath.

"So who wants cake?" Mickey grinned.

"What flavour is it?" the Doctor enquired, not departing from Rose's soft stare.

"Banana…dunno why you wanted banana mind" Jackie answered, cutting the cake and shaking her head.

"Ooh count me in, I love bananas me, never go to a party without a banana Rose" the Doctor beamed "Hang on I've said that before, still true mind" he continued to debate with himself, concluding with tilt of the head and Rose blushing with a smirk.

"I think I got some idea" Mickey muttered to Jackie, noting Rose's tinted facial colour.

"And ball bearings too! Nobody else in this entire galaxy's ever even bothered to make edible ball bearings" the Doctor stated happily. Mickey turned to Rose with a mundane glare.

"What?!" she proceeded defensively.

"Anyway Mickety-Mick-Mick-Mickey, save us a slice will ya. Need to borrow Miss Tyler for a moment" the Doctor added, putting his hands on Mickey's shoulders with a burst of energy before rubbing his head "Good lad". With that he grabbed Rose by the hand and led her out of the flat in a whirlwind.

"What does she see in him anyway?" Mickey grumbled as the door slammed shut.

"He's barmy and absolute nutter" Jackie replied "I ask myself the same question everyday" she sighed, passing a wedge of cake to Mickey.

"So, what's all this about then?" Rose questioned the Doctor who was so enthralled with smiling at Rose he'd almost forgot why he'd brought her out here.

"Oh yeah, right" he blurted, shaking his head with a nervous laugh as he started to ferret through his coat pocket, diverting his prolonged gaze. Rose bit her lip anxiously, she loved it when he did this. To be honest she loved everything he did "Aha!" he exclaimed, producing a palm-sized pink box, complete with gold ribbon.

Rose looked to the box with an ajar mouth, eyes fluttering between the present and the provider there of.

"Go on, open it" he tempted, perfect smile lingering on his face.

She carefully tugged at the ribbon, which caused the little box to jump out of the Doctor's outstretched hand and twirl around in front of her. Rose stared in awe as the gold twirled around it so fast it so that the box was no longer visible and then it exploded with stardust in the amber evening light, or so it seemed. A small, leather bound book floated into her grasp - it weighed next to nothing.

"It's bigger on the inside" the Doctor reassured, as Rose turned it over in her delicate grasp "And look" he continued with excitement, delving into his breast pocket "Snap" he said on revealing his own. Rose met his eyes between flicking through the thousands of never ending pages - all as soft as petals as she fingered one "Its beautiful" she whispered.

"Also means that we can keep in contact, wherever we are in space and time…because we all know what you're like, wandering off and disappearing for hours at a time" the Doctor commented, scratching the back of his neck.

"Oi, I resent that!" she remarked light heartedly, tapping him on the chest with her present.

"Happy birthday" he replied softly.

Rose launched herself into his arms to be taken into his warm embrace, they remained like that for what seemed eternity until Rose pulled her head back, still leaning into him, hands hooked onto his shoulders. The Doctor contemplated the position for a moment, taking in her brilliant scent.

"There is something I've been meaning to say Doctor" she began hesitantly, eyes darting over his gentle face as she let go of him.

"Yes?" he returned, masking his disappointment of losing the majority of physical contact with Rose. His hands lingered on her upper arms.

"I-" she started. He dipped his head back to watch her more intently, the words faltered and suddenly the door flung open.

"Cake" Mickey announced slowly, not looking up. The pair faced him. The desperate look on Rose's face and the sparkling in the Doctor's eyes gave him a clear message that this was a 'moment' and he shouldn't have blundered in like he just did "I'll leave you to it" he breathed, defeated and tail between his legs as he went back into the flat.

"You were saying?" the Doctor proceeded, searching Rose's face for a clue as to what she was about to say.

"I love-" she started, then his dark an alluring hazel eyes connected with hers "I love...traveling with you" she resided, heart sinking.

"Me too" the Doctor grinned, offering a hand as they went back inside. Rose thought he was oblivious, the sentiment was applicable to both of them.

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Rose's eyes flickered open and a fresh tear rolled down her cheek. She'd give it a shot, it was worth a go, right? She'd never used it before - never had a pen on her, but this seemed like the right moment.

'_we can keep in contact, wherever we are in space and time__'_

His words echoed in her head as she flipped over finding a page and flattening it down tenderly. Rose rubbed her raw cheeks with the back of her hand, clutching the pen tightly. Mascara seeped through the texture of her skin and another tear fell, blotting the paper. The pen touched the sheet she had chosen..

_Doctor,_

_I should have told you in one of those lingering moments when our eyes would meet and our faces were a breath apart. The lingering moments I wasted by starting the same sentence over and over but never finishing it…and the end of that sentence is what I said to you on that beach._

_I love you. _

Rose stared at the page. Her brow furrowed, nothing. Only her words were left imprinted on the page. They didn't even stay there, after a moment they dissolved into nothing and out of sight. She flung the book across the room in blind fury, sobs seeping from her lips as she cried out. Her shoulders tensed as the book ricoched off the wall. The hollow cavity within her suddenly became overwhelmed with guilt. She scrambled to the end of the bed and reached over without looking. Having it firmly in her slender grasp she sat up eyes softly floating back to the book. As her hazel gaze met the object they widened. It was glowing. Instinctively she dropped it onto the quilt in front of her, gasping. Then, after her human reaction she poked it with her pen, lifting it up so that it balanced on the nib.

Inquisitively she peered under the umbrella of the pages, her face calculating as she was not quite sure what to expect. On remembering that the Doctor had given her this she concluded it wouldn't be dangerous...to some extent. Rose picked up the book and opened it to the page she had been writing on, only to find that the crumpled pages had disappeared. The glowing stopped. Rose began to flick through the whole contents anxiously, there were no pages with words, no damages nothing. Her eyes narrowed as she smoothed an open spread with the palm of her hand, ink was flooding back.

Her heart skipped a beat.

I love you.

It was not in her handwriting.

Her heart pulsated once more beat.

Simultaneously…

The Doctor had been staring at the pages for about ten minutes now. He ran his finger down the inner spine thoughtfully. Something then caught his eye. The last three words he had written had disappeared and others had replaced them. Ghostly writing he couldn't make out sprawled over the page but he could decipher three words spelt identically to his own, but not meriting his penmanship. The Doctor felt a pang of excitement for the first time in weeks.

_Doctor, is that you?_

She had scribbled excitedly beneath, eyes darting all over the paper. Her words faded.

The Doctor saw more words appear. The almost illegible words proved she was rushing, obviously experiencing the same sensation.

Yes

A smiley face appeared after that word and Rose laughed softly. She hadn't lost him, he was right there effectively talking to her. Her eyes fluttered upwards and she stared into the sky, a smile graced her face before she bit her lip.

_Did you mean it, that?_

The Doctor saw the words fathom. He smirked dotingly at the book, eyes diverting to the quill and then back at the page.

Forever x


End file.
